Memoirs of a Bloodthirsty Pirate

Introduction
Let me begin by saying I was bored, not in the I wish I could be doing something interesting kind of way but in the I didn't know there was anything interesting to do way. Then, since we are into the disclaimers anyway let me continue by reminding you this is not a justification for my actions up to this point. The title in and of itself should hint at that but let me say it explicitly: I know full well what I did and to whom, I was no damsel caught up in the winds of fate, nor do I carry remorse regarding the path I trod to get where I am today.

So, if you are still with me up to this point you are undoubtedly interested in the salacious details of how one becomes one of the most feared pirates this world has ever seen. If so, do continue intrepid reader, granted you are not standing in aisle of bookstore trying to decide if this book is worth buying; if you ARE doing that immediately close the book, walk to the front of the store, pay for it, and then go home before continuing on. As one with experience robbing the "innocent" let me tell you this book is no such crime and is well worth the undoubtedly exorbitant price they will charge you.